Thursday, 19 December 2013

Welcome... to the machine...

Today I had the pleasure of having an MRI scan in a GE450 scanner.  What does the MRI say?

BZZZT.  ClonK.  RRRRR. rrrrr.  Wummmmmmmar.  RwwwwwR.  OiOiOiOiOing.  DsZsZst! PssshT.  BrrRRrzt!

A bit like this, just much, much better:

Some tips for maximum fun in one of those:

1. Get the doc to prescribe you about 6mg of Valium to ensure you have a good time.  Even if you're not the claustrophobic type, your mind will say: Wooo! And your body will scream: Earthquake!  Run!  Instinct > logic.  And lying completly still for 25 minutes is also much easier with 'Mother's little helpers.'

2. Ask them to turn off the muzak in the ear defenders they'll give you.  The sound that thing makes is an experience not to be missed, no sound system comes close in quality.  

3. Wear just cotton clothes without any metal anywhere, leggings, tshirt with long arms.  Long arms because they pipe in some oxygen and it'll be a bit chilly otherwise.  Cotton clothes because that way you can avoid that naff open back gown they hand you, no idea who thought it was an acceptable garment, but it's just icky to wear.  Ladies, remove all the metal from your bra and sew it closed.

4. Ensure you have a comfy neck roll, a pillow can easily get annoying because it tilts your neck.

5. Ask how long it takes, so you know, that helps if you get a little cramped in there.

The technology is just something to be admired, it's one of the finest machines humanity has ever built!